Thursday 18 February 2016

Postcards from paradise?

Hellloooo there lovelies. Now I know it's been a while and I do apologise for being so quiet in my posts and beauty flashes of late. As anticipated, it was quite a busy end of year trying to keep up with the kids school diaries, my own work engagements and other business administration. Festive season social duties came and went and finally I was all packed and set to fly off into the sunset with my love to a magical island destination for some serious R&R. I secretly snuck in some new products for editorial purposes which I thought would make for some great visuals in and around the island. Yes, so that was the initial plan.

Flying into Ile Maurice from high upon the candy cotton clouds set the tone for an indulgent couple of days with nothing on my mind but sun, sea and surf. Gone were the beauty flashes which I hoped would be flamed by the peace and tranquillity of this breathtaking location. Yes, it was inspirational, but on another level for me. I took the time to just sit and 'people watch'(which is an absolute delight for me when travelling!) and also enjoy the cool calm turquoise waters. I surrendered to the sunshine which shone down on me, and just embraced my state of being. Sometimes that's all a soul needs to heal and prepare for another year of adventures.


Mauritius was everything and more than what I could have imagined. It's like He created a little bit of heaven right here for us to enjoy. I lapped up the sunshine and sipped on delicious mocktails because..there's no reason except because! Whatever else happened in Mauritius stayed right there in Mauritius.

So 2016, and back at my desk ready to tackle the new school year, current projects almost coming to fruition after months of planning and just getting all the 'to do lists' for everyone in place. Stationary, books, schedules, extra murals, annual Dr check ups etc. Normal admin tick tick tick.

What was to enfold over the next couple weeks was nothing short of world shaking and mind breaking in every way. A routine mammogram which I initiated for the first time in my life left me reeling as this led to further investigations with my Dr and I now sit with a diagnosis of Burkitts Lymphoma Cancer. Quite a mouthful isn't it. Believe me when I say it was the furthest thing from my mind.

As this point I'm not sure whether I intend documenting this journey as I haven't quite made sense as to how that would be beneficial to any one really. I just have this feeling that writing about it may just make the journey easier for me as It's always been a therapeutic outlet. I feel like I just need to get a load off my head this morning before moving on. If I have to start on how the whole family is coping, I will not be able to finish this post as I will have a meltdown and that's not my intention for today. I've spent three days crying and prepping for this moment and today there will be no tears and no fears. 

So where to from here you ask? Well it's exactly a month since I noticed an abnormally bloated tummy and I now sit waiting for my first dose of chemo on a Monday morning can you believe. I am however humbled by the massive amount of love and duas and well wishes I have received since early morning and over the past couple of days. With an emotional heart I say bismillah and pray the almighty gives me strengh to make it through today. 

I'm going to skip the Oprah life lessons and drama about how precious life is and all that so just give me a minute while I tuck in my bloated tummy and straighten my big girl bloomers. I think I got this!

Wish me luck...
to be continued!!
xxx
**PS** excuse any typos as this has been written very quickly to ease the morning anxiety💕